Casey got Jayda and me a ticket to fly to my mom's for Christmas! I'm excited but kinda scared. I've always been afraid of heights, and when I flew down to see Casey during my spring break I felt pretty okay with it... but now I will have Jayda with me. She's 3.5 months old, and I'm kinda worried about how she'll handle it. I know they say to have babies suck on their pacis or have a bottle/nurse during take off, but it's the hour and a half that I'm more worried about. What do I do when she starts fussing and won't calm down?
I'm also gonna miss Casey a ton... Jayda and I are flying out on the 13th (pretty late... we'll get to Chicago at about 9) and we'll be gone 16 days... We'll be back to Nashville early on the 29th because Jayda's 4 month appointment is the 30th.
On another note:
I'm closer to starting school!!! I've applied, gotten my FAFSA in, gotten my transcripts requested as well as my vaccination records requested. I should be able to register next week, but I'm not sure. I'm hoping they won't ask me to come in and meet with an advisor, because I'll be gone for almost 3 weeks!
On a sad note:
When Casey and I were headed home from WIC and from dropping off a couple papers at the college, we got stopped by a funeral succession. It seemed to have triggered memories of my friend that passed away in 09.. And the fact that her birthday was the 5th doesn't help anything. I wanted to break down and cry during and after the succession went through the intersection we were at. It made me remember her funeral, the ride to the cemetery, and then the grieving process afterwards. I was probably depressed for a while after Jackie died.. I felt it. It felt like there was no reason for me to be here anymore... and I don't know why. Jackie and I had lost contact after a while, and I talked to her twice in the 3 months before she died. I found out about her death when a friend of ours texted me and asked if I got the email from Sheryl (Jackie's mom) saying she was very sick and her heart just gave up. It seemed to have pulled our little group together, but then life tore us apart again. The only two I talk to on a semi-regular basis are Shane and Whittney.... I talk to Jason occasionally.
But after being fine for so long, I think seeing anything that has to do with a funeral will set me off. I don't know why. Some days I want to relapse into my little state of depression but I can't now that I have Jayda. I honestly don't know what to do about this one.
I think I'm done for now... I'm going to try to keep this updated in the upcoming weeks as I do school and be mommy and lose weight.
- Andie
